FBI Arrests Nine Homegrown American Alleged Terrorists

Nine self-proclaimed "Christian Warriors" found themselves under arrest yesterday after a grand jury charged them with seditious conspiracy, attempted use of weapons of mass destruction, teaching the use of explosive materials and possessing a firearm during a crime of violence. Prosecutors allege that the "Hutaree," as they call themselves, had planned to kill a police officer, and then, to explode bombs at the following funeral. They believed, it is claimed, that this would spark a general uprising against the American government. Once again, it appears that the people who have read just one book (and misinterpreted it) are posing a threat to the American republic.

These sad and pathetic people believe that the Anti-Christ is coming, or could already be here, and it is their duty to train in the woods in survival techniques and guerrilla warfare while wearing Vietnam-era camouflage. They are, not to put too fine a point on it, fools playing army in the Michigan woods. Of course, there are a lot of paintball fans doing the same thing, and they aren't a danger to anyone except other paintball fans (paintballs do sting a bit). The Hutaree and other "militias" are dangerous idiots playing army in the woods.

It is hard to decide which is more laugh-worthy: their name or their organization's structure. According to their website, "Hutaree" means Christian Warrior, although from what language no one can say for certain. Actually, they made it up to sound somewhat biblical, like the Maccabees, or perhaps, they were fans of the fictional Indian tribe on the ABC 1960s sitcom "F-Troop," the Hekawi.

Also, they have 11 ranks in their paramilitary hierarchy starting with gunner in three varieties, rising to lukore (whatever the heck that is) then rifleman in three different medal classes, followed by arkon (perhaps they meant the Greek "archon"?), zulif, boramander, and ultimately radok. Pretty nifty, right? Amazing how nine people can have 11 ranks; there must be loads of room for field promotions. Many fans of Dungeons and Dragons made it to 9th level Paladin but to be a Hutaree Boramander, wow! One wonders if they included that on their business cards.

As easily mocked as they are, stupid and deluded people with weapons represent a huge threat to those in society with a firmer grip on reality. The metro bombing in Moscow yesterday illustrates this perfectly. It does not matter if the killers are Chechen Black Widows or "Christian" Hutarees. In their twisted world-view, murder in the name of God is perfectly fine.

The Southern Poverty Law Center, which keeps tabs on hate groups, says that the Hutaree are one of 11 militias active in Michigan. The Hutaree are so disliked by the others that, when the FBI raided their homes, the radoks, boromanders and zulifs called their Patriot Movement brethren for help; said brethren promptly told them to get stuffed. Indeed, it appears one of the other militia ratted them out to authorities.

According to the Washington Post, "The seditious-conspiracy charges carry a maximum penalty of 20 years in prison, and attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction carries a maximum term of life." If proven guilty in court (civilian, not a military tribunal at Guantanamo), one looks forward to the maximum. Of course, when Jesus comes back, he'll probably free these nine people who will make all the difference in the battle against the Anti-Christ thanks to their rigorous training in Michigan's forests. More likely, he'll just say that he loves everyone, but the Hutaree are a challenge in this regard.

© Copyright 2010 by The Kensington Review, Jeff Myhre, PhD, Editor. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written consent. Produced using Ubuntu Linux.

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